“Average” Movie actor joins Real Madrid from Los Angeles

Press Release



“Average” Movie actor joins Real Madrid from Los Angeles

Veteran actor Sylvester Stallone is joining Real Madrid next season, in a shock move, it was announced today in Los Angeles. “Sly”, who was described by his current manager as an “average movie actor” is seeking to revitalise his career in Spain, following a disappointing loss of form in Hollywood.

As part of the deal, Everlast will be taking over as Real Madrid’s team sponsors, ousting Adidas. It is expected that the new team kit, featuring baggy silk shorts, high laced boots and no shirts, will be on display soon. A factory in Taiwan has already begun production of gumshields with the club logo.

Speaking shortly after the announcement, Sly, who was recently linked with Everton, said “Since I played in goal in ‘Escape to Victory’, I knew that football was my destiny. I feel at home on the gridiron in front of the old onion bag”.

Asked about his age, Sly told a reporter “Cause all I wanna do is go the distance. Nobody's ever gone the distance with Creed, and if I can go that distance, you see, and that bell rings and I'm still standin', I'm gonna know for the first time in my life, see, that I weren't just another bum from the neighborhood.” Mr Stallone is 60.

Commenting on the move, Real Madrid coach, Fabio Capello said “We wanted to bring in a few more tough Italians to strengthen the defence. I’m confident that Sly will use his fists appropriately.”